overview of todae

went to make a pair of new spec todae... had my eyes check n see whether my degree got deeper or not.... haiz one gd news n one bad news... gd one is my right eyes degree didnt increase at all.... bad one is my left eye degree increase by 75... so sad lol increase so much but sae lol i 5 yrs didnt check spec le.... so decided to change a new wan... coz my spec so long le... then nua at home coz got nth to do... so guai stay at home todae.... coz suppose to went out wit my mum but last min her friend call n she decided to go wit her friend... so i stay at home whole dae watch tv....

TIRING DAE

so tired todae... went out wit fiona coz she sae exams coming too stress so need a break... suppose to meet her at 3:30pm at orchard n i was late again... coz i left hse at 3:30... so meet her is already 4pm le... so sorry i am late agin... then went far east to get some make up set things... bought a few from missha... don noe y i like this shop... i also like the brand von n red earth.... these few shops sell things r not bad as the price r very reasonable.... then she bought a necklace n start to wear... she also bought a pair of sisters rings... one for mi n one for her... coz she sae i very blur n lose things of things break when she buy for mi... not purposely wan this to happen... sorry... after tt went heeren n ps.... then walk walk ard... after tt went back yiishun n eat.... then stay there chat chat for a while n went home... reach home 9 plus le.... on the way home at bus interchange saw my aunt n cousins they were gg home... then after tt go teach my cousins... then juz back n eat my supper.... haiz... eating too much supper is gg to cause mi fat.... muz cut down le... tt all le...

SORRY FOR HURTING U

feeling so bad since last nite.... i don noe whether i sae it out is rite or not.... but i did sae it out n it cant be taken back.... SO SORRY IF I HAD HURT U BY SAE ALL THIS.... REALLI SORRI.... coz i juz wan to let u noe how i feel onli... i don wan to bottom it in my heart... ALTHOUGH I SAE IT OUT MIGHT MAKE U FEEL UNEASY OR WAT.... BUT I REALLI MEAN NO HARM TO U.... I ALSO DON WAN TO HURT U.... REALLI SORRY TO U.... i don noe wat to sae.... tt all... I DON FEEL GD EITHER.... I JUZ FEEL VERY BAD N GUILTY....

GIVING UP

i am feeling so sad n down again.... i juz wan to stay happy... is tt so difficult.... i juz wan to do my own things n lead a peaceful life... y u all don let mi.... y u all cant juz forget n leave mi alone.... although i shldnt sae this... but u all r disruptting my life... u all r messing my life... i don noe wat to do... i feel like giving up everything but i noe i shldnt... who can understand how i feel... no one coz u r not mi.... i thought i am strong actually i am not... i juz act in front of u all onli.... n i find it hard to control my feelings anymore.... realli.... I AM GOING TO BREAK DOWN LE... I AM FULL OF HURTS N WOUNDS IN MY HEARTS.... I AM GIVING UP..... I DON NOE HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE MI TO HEAL...... I AM SO TIRED.... I NEED A REST....

So HaPpY n TiReD

yesterdae went out wit fiona to a lot of place... suppose to meet her at 3 but turn out both of us to be late so when both of us reach is already 3 plus... then board on the train n sit down not long... while we were sitting down n chatting there is 3 guys in front of us n one of them sat down n one of the other guys was there don noe wat don dare to sit beside fiona so his friend sit instead... both of us saw it n we don wan to sae it out so we were chating where we wan to go after going bugis.... then alight at bugis coz we wan to go to the guan yin temple to ask for some qns... we got wat we ask for n the solutions but onli the first 2 r gd n the last 2 r medium n i noe tt medium means bad... so last 2 need mi to reconsider again... while fiona all 3 were gd except for one she n mi don understand... after we got our qns ask we went to shop ard... while we were shopping at bugis village n juction we suddenly felt very bored so we walk from bugis to lavender... it was very long but we chat while we walk so we realised lavender got a lots of very nice food to eat.... then during the way both of us realised tt when we pass by a coffee shop 2 young ppl were looking at us n wondering y we r at lavender... then suddenly she stop n look at the place while i was wondering y then she told mi tt tt place had a wonderful memories of her n her stead tt y... she sae tt when u pass by a place n ur boyfriend went before u will start to remember of the wonderful memories both of u spend together.... ya i agree wit this too... then we decided to go boat quay n we found tt the evening n night scenery there is very beautiful n we sit down there n enjoy it while we were chatting... then after tt went back to yishun n eat... then sorry fiona coz we didnt went to orchard to buy the things we wan... so sorry but i promise we will go orchard some dae to get our things n go boat quay to see the scenery tt u wan again.. i promise... actually we had a lot to chat no matter where the place n wat the topic is... like on the phone n gg out or even gg to her hse.... tt y we r realli close... we realli tok a lot n analysis a lot of things n she told mi a lot of things... thank you...

todae my nafa appeal letter came sae i fail .... haiz... i learn the fact tt i couldnt get into any poli this yr... actually i had that feeling long ago ... now wat i gg to do is find a partime meantime study n work.. tt all...

WHY WHY.....

do ppl change over a lot.... i realli wonder... my cousin turn bad a lot n change into completely a new person.... i realli don noe y she become like this... HAIZ... find it hard to tok or communicate wit her nowadae.... hope tt she will not continue to be like this... she make mi realise tt if a person change she wont noe n sjhe wont admit de... hope t she is happy wit her life now....

HEHE

finally recover le... had so many rest n medicine.... hope tt it will not FA ZHUO again..

SICK....

these few daes was not feeling well coz my running nose is back... my nose sensitive is gg to kill mi soon.. sometimes gd... sometimes bad.... it had FA ZHUO again... realli feeling very XIN KU n TIRED... see doctor also no use coz it will onli stop for a while then ltr it is back again... medication cannot fullly control it... it is onli temporally... the dose i am taking r more n more each time...

HAHA

todae went to cut my hair.. change a new hairstyle.. a brand new mi.... juz to cut away all the bad memories n have a new fresh start..... then someone cheer mi up n ask mi to stay happy no matter wat happy... he told mi to go through every dae happy de... i will de... thanks to him being my friend n noe him is my blessing...

SAD...SAD....

so sad cant get into one of the poli i wan tt is tp... todae tp appeal letter came n sae i fail.... haiz... my rp appeal also fail... my onli hope left is nafa... hope i will get in ba.....

SAD n HAIZ

todae do a lot of things... in the morning went to my ah ma hse to pai my ancestors... then realise how time files... my dearest ah gong pass away n it is gg to be 2 yrs le... n i miss him... we share a gd relationship coz he look after n take care of mi since i was born... he is one of the person who loves mi the most... realli miss him... still can remember the time when i saw him struggling wit his illness n the how he look before he pass away... n i regret for not spending too much time wit him although i did... i still feel not enough...
it is gg to be 1 yr soon tt my mum mother pass away...tt is my grandmother n she is another one who loves mi the most.... i regret for not spending too much time wit her coz i realli spend very little time even she was in hospital... n i fail to do wat i promise her before she pass away n she kept sae it.. tt is to do well for my O... i am realli sorry tt i did so badly for my O...
2004 - ah gong pass away in june...
2005 - grandma pass away in oct...
haiz.....
then ltr went for drawing test at nafa... there were so many ppl.... don think i can make it coz a lot of ppl drawing r better n nicer then mi.. my drawing juz sucks...
then went to the indian temple to pray n donate some money... then went to buy a flower n go pray in the chinese temple before it is closing... do another donation for the building of the temple... then help an old lady to buy tissue coz pity her she so old le....then got scolded by an old lady for no reson.. don noe her so don care juz walk away....
after drawing test was feeling low so went bugis walk walk n saw a watch tt i feel it is very nice n i like it so much so i bought it.... n chat wit one of my ex- colleagues for a while as she is gg to buy her dinner...
then went home n open the xin xiang saw the letter from nyp... suddenly i was feeling so afraid tt my appeal will fail n in the end still fail like wat i expected......
so my feelings for todae is happy coz i finally bought a watch.. then sad coz i my nyp appeal fail... confused coz don noe will ake it for nafa or not... n i realli try my best le so i had no regrets if i fail to get in coz i realli try very hard for it n over my limit le.... sad is more then happiness...
hope tt god will bless mi sucess...

todae.. woke up early to look after my cousin coz her mum is bring my uncle to doctor again... so i find tt taking care of a kid is not easy... it need a lot of care love n patient... then i noe y i love the kids so much coz they r very cute... then my grandma always sae y all the rich don felt sick n the poor or median family de always sick de... how i noe... so i wish tt my uncle will recover soon...
god will bless you....