not feeling well

these few daes keep on not feeling well... don noe y... havent see a doc.... juz last thur nite suddenly had an headache.... then fri to sun nite suddenly had chest pain.... then juz now stomach not feeling well... then eat ice-cream n realised tt i realli cant take too sweet stuff... nearly vomit out but in the end didnt... then an hr ago feel hungrt so ate a bit of supper wit my parents... n now my stomach not well again... don noe y like this... shld go n see a doc but drag till now havent seen.... sry tt i lied to candy n may u all tt i had seen a doc but i didnt coz i don wan u all to worry.... recently these few mths keep having this problems chest pain n headaches n stomach not feeling well... n all this always happen too sudden..... maybe after o will go for a check up ba....

i had been thinking a lot todae n last nite.... realised a lot too... start from last nite ba.... finally got the ans for my qns.... n i noe wat to do le.... no point hanging on.... i waited for so long le... for more then a yr.... hmmm.... hope tt we can still continue to be friends.... tt all i wish... if u noe tt u n tt person u love wont be together then it is best to let him go n find his happiness... remember tt candy told mi tt the person u love is happi u will also feel happi for him.... although it is hard to let go.... but no matter wat muz still let it go.... maybe he didnt even noe tt i do miss him... n now my feeling for him also started to fade... n starting to get tired too.. shall no sae anymore...... crystal sae i will find my right n guy who is great.... coz deep in my heart i realli hope to have a person who will realli care n dote mi n most importantly love mi... so i will wait for my mr right to appear...






remember tt jerome sae on phone tt in life there r very little true friends coz friends come n go.... agree to a certain extent... he also sae tt even best friends we will still be bz for our own stuff n after a certain period the feelings wont be like we used to be... this is coz we r difting apart for tt period of time.... this one is also very true.... ya this let mi think of how to maintain friendship n not make the feeling fade.... gd qns... shall think more abt it... when i come up wit an ans then shall write it here...

i cant slp tonite again.... my mind is full of him again.... keeping having him on my mnd especially when i am alone.... i will start thinking abt him... i realli need to sort out or else i wont be able to concertrate fully on my studies.... think i will sort out soon ba.... yest slp at 6 in the morning woke up at 7 n went back slp woke uo again in 11 plus then went back slp till 1 plus then wake up... till now still not slp coz i cant slp.... suppose to study at this time but cant concetrate.... but got do a bit of study... starting to chiong for my studies le..... gg to mug for a while more then go to slp......




so fast it been a year since my grandma pass away.... time realli flies.... still can remember how my grandma use to dote mi.... she realli dote mi a lot.... she also like to call mi baby baby... i also don noe y..... she save some gd food or the food i like for mi n ask my mum to bing home for mi whenever my mum visit her...... but i fail to visit her regulary.... i am a real failure.... i realli regret a lot for not spending more time wit her but now wat is the use of regretting when she is gone..... she died of cancer.... after fighting it for abt 1 yr or more..... till now i didnt forgot tt few time tt my grandma nearly didnt make it... but she is strong... n somemore she is from china..... but i had nvr seen my china relatives before..... i heard tt my grandma n grandpa came all the way from china n settle down here.... got heard a bit of stories from my mum abt my grandparents.... ALTHOUGH THE PAIN OF LOSING THE LOVE ONE WILL SLOWLY GET OVER BUT THE PAIN IS NVR TO BE FORGOTTEN... it is like a hole in my heart tt will nvr be mend.... i do agree to wat alex sae live life to the fullest coz u will nvr noe when u will die..... by the way MY GRANDMA IS THE BEST N STRONG ONE TT I HAD EVER SEEN.... I MISSED U GRANDMA.... I REALLI MISS U A LOT....

i need more space....

finally finish clearing up the things in my room.... i don noe y it seems to be nvr ending.... juz clear up lot of stuff.... haiz... after throwing up a lot of things.... it seems to be full again.... don noe y.... my mum mention getting mi another waredrop coz too much clothes le.... aready got 2 of mine le n one more sharing wit my parents de.... my mum sae put in my room but i got no more space le.... juz move my com to my room... ya... i will be getting a new mattress soon coz my parents sae spoil le so they r buying mi a new one.... n my mum is making mi another pillow.... so gd....

haiz.. nth much this few dae.... manage to catch up wit esther a bit todae..... tell her wat she need to noe.... then had been chatting wit jerome also... last nite chat wit her till ard 3 ba... then chat wit suvit till 4 plus in the morning.... tt all....








abt luv.....
when it is time to let go....
should let go...
no poing clinging on...
coz u will suffer in the end.....
not ur one is not ur one.....
then we shld move on.....

these few daes down wit running nose.... then now feel better... ya bought ben n jerry ice cream home todae.... then bought ferror also.... then chat wit fabian candy n may last nite.... n also jerome few dae ago... ok la... starting to study le... n the sci pra sucks..... i didnt do well... so paper muz do well le..... tt all... o is coming.... muz jia you le....

didnt manage to slp well last nite.... slp at onli ard 6 in te morning... last nite was realli feeling feeling down... so i cant control my tears n i cry.... i totally break down... i cant take it anymore... the more stronger i seems to be the weaker i am... i am a person who is easily affect by some emotion..... those who noe mi well noe wat happen... don wan to sae much..... maybe life is so bad for mi.... ppl wit bad situations tend to have more blessing things things in their life.... tt is wat i saw...




i don wan to be like this anymore... i wan back my happiness n cheerful face.... i wan to be back to be wat i use to be n not like this... i don wan to be affect n get emo easily.... all along i juz wan to lead a simple life be a simple person.... IS TT SO HARD FOR MI TO FUFILL...u tell mi who don wan to be love n have care... no one.... wveryone wish to have this..... but this tend not to happen to mi.... to mi beside my mum n dad... my closest kin is my best friends not my family.... I WAN BACK THE OLD HAPPY MIIIII......
I WAN IT BACKKKK...

todae was fun.... went for bbq as may ask mi to go along... it was meant for poli students la...but still got a few one not poli de... then noe more friends... as shirley n juliana bring their friend along... then noe other cell grp friends also... had a great time... n lot of fun too... when juliana bring one of her friend to bustop n shirley they all go... n may went to wait there to open the door.... then lanlan n eugene went to help out in bbq... a guy call kelvin came to tok to mi n intro mi his cell friends.... then they ask mi to play games.... it was fun n lot of laughter... malu coz they i was blur lol.... it was realli fun playing wit u guys... thx a lot.... remember a few of their names like joshua andrew jeff n many more... if we have a chance shall noe u more guys more.... n exchange msn add wit joshua n kelvin... shall noe more n get their next time... then left at abt 9... then wait for half an hr for tt bus tt does not operate on sat... it online operate on sun... cute rite... then change lol... take bus to suntec n take train home... as i was too tired so took cab home from yishun mrt... ya... was drinking coke while updating now..... eat a bit during the bbq... coz went home still need to eat.... so reach home n rest a while then eat... there was a feast todae... it was cook by my aunt n the money was sponse by my uncle... it was nice... now very full....




yest was so sry to candy coz i accidentally spill the drink onto her bag n mine also kenna... poor thing... then she sae i was distracted tt y... ya i admit tt... haiz....actually wan to study turn up no due to my carelessness..... then to shop for a key chain n a handphone one... n bought it... find it cute....




tt all gg to rest le... had a fun nite out.... n ya sorry tt i was late todae... sorry to keep u waiting especially eugene wait for mi for ard half an hr....

happi birthdae to chin yong

happi birthdae to u.... juz now it from friendster... so bad rite... coz u don wan to sae... haiz.... anyway juz happi birthdae to u...

i am keep having itchness at my back coz of the dust... my block is upgrading the lift n it happen to be near my doorstep n facing one of the room... i haev sensitive skin... cannot blame... once my skin have contact wit dust i will have itchness or worse have rashes all over.... the mi sensitive nose is back.... haiz... maybe i shld go n see a doc.... shall see how ba...

couldnt forget

since i saw him on last fri..... till now i couldnt forget tt disappointing face tt he gave..... sorry tt i am not able recongize u... i don mean it.... coz we havent seen each other for a long time like 2 yrs plus gg to 3 yr le.... n we lost contact after my n.... i was so surprised tt u could still remember mi.... until i recall back then i realised tt it is u.... i feel so bad..... but seeing u living happily n had some true friends beside u i am also feeling happy for u too.... i hope tt u have changed better instead of..... shall not sae too much here... hope tt ur true friends r able to change u.... till now i still believe u will change one dae.... coz i noe u n i believe u... thx for letting mi to noe u so well even we don realli noe each other for very long.... thx for teaching mi to noe a lot of things too... n thx for all the things u do... i realli appreciate.... time have pass n change everythings le.... like u sae past is past le....






LUV......
be dare to sae i love u coz if u don try u will nvr noe the ans....
if reject also don be disppointed n try again....
if u love someone show let n her noe....
not onli by saeing.....
prove to her wit action....
sae is no use de....
then lastly U WILL NOE THE ANS TILL THE END....
COZ THINGS MIGHT CHANGE THE LAST MIN OR UNEXPECTED THINGS WILL HAPPEN....
shall elaborate more the next time....

happi birthdae to jerome

happi 17th birthdae... wish u do well for ur studies... acheive wat u wan.... then wish u have a lasting relationship... n a lot of eternal friendship.... all the best la....

todae went out wit crystal... she call mi n ask mi out... by the way was feeling moody.... so go out walk walk.... hope tt will feel better.... ya was a bit better after toking to her..... then ask ade to go but she don wan..... she tok to mi abt some problems.... n mi too... ya... she gave mi tarot reading todae... all the ans was not bad..... actually i believe in tarot reading coz i find it very true to mi.... ask some qns.... one abt relationship.... love one gave mi a gd ans but also had some things tt need to be solve..... haha... shld notsae much... the other abt family.... tt all ba...

CAN I DISAPPEAR OR RUN AWAY

WHYYYYY..... HOW I WISH I COULD DISAPPEAR OR RUN AWAY... I DON WAN TO STAY IN THIS SITUATION ANYMORE.... I DON WAN TO STAY IN THIS ROOF ANYMORE.... YYYYYY U ALL LIKE TO COMPARE N COMPARE...... I HATE IT.... I REALLI HATE IT.... WHY U ALL SO BIASED...... WHYYYYYYYY..... WHY............ SOMETIME I REALLI WAN TO MOVE OUT..... I CANT STAND STAND IT ANYMORE..... Y U ALL ONLI THINK TT EXPRESS N JC N UNI IS THE BEST.... WHY..........WHY U ALL ONLI THINK OF URSELF..... TT Y SOMETIME REALLI WAN TO ABANDON ALL THE THINGS HERE N GO TO A PLACE TT U ALL CANT FIND MI..... THEN SETTLE THERE PEACEFULLY.....

HEART......


a lantern tt my cousin n his friend found.....
3 colours....
the colour i think not bad....
MI N MI COUSIN......

y my little cousin so shy..... HAHA....

yest slp onli for abt 6 hrs.... so tired... then last nite went downstairs to play candles wit my cousins... then have a causal chat wit them.... we r like kds but it was so fun.... then one of his friend came back from church n we call him to join us.... then my mum brought my little cousin down n a while ltr his dad came.... then went home ard 12.... while they continue plying n my little cousin was waiting for her mum as she went wedding dinner.... yest the hse was so quiet.... feel weird weird de.... then slp at 3 in the morning n wake up at 1 then went back to slp ard 3 plus.... then now juz woke up... like a pig rite... slp n slp.... skip service todae.... yest took lot of photos... shall upload ltr...

todae is mooncake festival.... nth much ba.... went out in the afternoon to meet liyan as we wan to catch a movie ba.... but in the end didnt catch the show we wan....watch another one instead.... plan to watch haunted apartment but don have so watch robinhood.... not bad as it was quite funny.... cheer up my dae as i was feeling down these feeling dae.... then shop ard orchard.... i keep quiet todae although i do tok la... then went bugis to buy some stuff n we went home as we r tired... especailly nowadaes i couldnt slp.... slp late n early in the morning got the renovation all this n lift upgrading.... tt y wakle up in afternoon... but yest onli slp for 4 hrs... couldnt slp... many reasons behind.... so many things happen recently.... i still cant organise.... need to calm down.... I AM PHYSICALLY N EMOTIONALLY TIRED BUT I STILL CANT SLP..... I AM REALLI FEELING DOWN.... HAIZ.....





abt luv.....
fate n destiny is one of the impt source if we r able to be tog or not.....
another 1 is courage.....
shld elaborate more next time.....

happi birthdae jianying

happi birthdae to jianying..... although don noe u for quite long but u r a cheerful person.... u have smile in ur face all the time...

I CANT CALM DOWN

i am feeling so bu an.... i cant calm down.... i realli cant... my mood is affected totally.... i don noe how to calm myself down...

todae went out studying wit candy .... meet ard 6 plus... but then reach the place ard 7 le..then study till 8 plus... she manage to finish half of her report while i manage to finsh 3/4 of my compo.... we study in the mac at suntec... then she went to buy dinner for her sis... then went to meet her sis at mrt... we took some photo while waiting...then meet her sis on the train as she pass her dinner... then we took it till yishun as her sis alight at orchard coz she need to collect her mooncake....






this week gg to be bz... coz gg to meet up wit friendz... then O ALSO COMING SOON..... N I AM FEELING VERY STRESS... as u all heard mi grumpling tt my pimples r all coming out.... MUZ JIA YOU.....