reflection of the year 2007 n resolution for 2008

2007 is coming to the end... shall do my reflections.... erm.... it was not a realli great nor bad year for mi.... a lot of things happen.... i noe very gd colleagues n bosses from the current compay i working now n the previous one... from solectron i noe irene meifang henry sunny helen meifang hubby liying ivan fangpeng ronnie kong sharon n many more... we still got contact wit each other although we r very bz.... we still go out once in a while... then currently prudential i noe my bosses jia hao angela gerrard n lionel... they r very gd to mi listen to my problems n be there for mi through my down n not forgetting my colleagues christina jasly verlyn 2 vivan serena huili n many more... they r also great friends... then i went into the poli but not into the course i wan to but i still like it... it was fun... then i noe n met my wonderful classmates.... after so much then i realise they care a lot for mi... n they realli touched mi... they celebrate my birthdae for mi which i didnt expected... then i got into a relationship which lasted for 5 mth n 13 daes.... although not very long or short but i am still greatful for the wonderful memories tt he gave.... thanks a lot... it started on 13 june n end on 28 nov.... i will remember in my hearts always for the wonderful memories u give... i had move on wit my life now n leading my own life.... n he did give mi a memoriable birthdae... 2 daes before my birthdae he broke up wit mi but i still manage to celebrate wit my friends... it didnt ended well but it was still wonderful as they made the effort to celebrate for mi.... thx gals n everyone who wish n celebrate wit mi.... then i realise who r the one who is there for mi always... who will nvr left mi... n most important my guardian angel.... i noe who r the ones who cares for mi... i am realli blessed... i feel so blessed to have my parents my cousins my friends my buddies adeline crystal kat candy fiona to be by my side.... i love all of them... i cant name all out... too much already.... but u guys noe it can le.... n i did spend the time wit my friends... but i feel tt i nvr realli spend enough wit them.... overall i am happi....





my resolution for 2008 is to be wit the special him.... to do well in studies n career... to spend more time wit my friends... to continue the happi life i am leading... to lead my life to the fullest... to be happi always....

fri nite was great wit the gals christina jaslyn verlyn vivan sah vivan tan huili n serena... we went to mussels guys at vivo to eat.... we celebrate christina last dae as a full time pa... then also vivan sah birthdae... had a great time wit them.... nice chatting n crapping wit them.... then todae went to meet henry n meifang as they pass mi the small gift they bought from thailand trip... thx... sry to make henry to wait for mi for 1 n half hr for lunch... kor sorry.... then went to crap at mac n lot one wit the rest before i came home... ok... shall let the photo do the talking....


mi n vivan tan

mi n verlyn again

mi n vivan the birthdae gal

mi n huili

serena n mi

verlyn n mi not clear one...

christina n mi

since a week i didnt update... last week was pretty bz wit work... at last i manage to finish all the cards n sent out by fri... last week was so bz wit my work... thx candy for the help she give.... i realli appreciate if not i will die.... then fri went to office to settle some stuff then went off n meet candy for dinner at novena... shop ard as usual... sat went to do tele for a while... sun went to meet my client n candy came my hse to chill out... after tt we went for dinner as my mum treat us... thx mum i love u... then yest was christmas eve plan to stay at home after the dinner wit candy... yest went to the office to hand some stuff in the end end up slacking in the office while waiting for my boss gerrard to drive mi to woodlands as he had roadshow in woodlands.... then went to woodlands to do some last min shopping... i bought 4 gifts... one for my darling fiona... onc for candy n one for myself... the other one plan to give it to alexa todae but i didnt meet her todae coz got something on... slack at home for a while before gg out to meet candy for dinner then after tt meet fiona to pass her the gift n then wait for lai... then accompany lai to his ex hse to wait for him as she wan to sort everything out wit him... so wait at cck until 11 plus n headed to her hse.... then accompany her to chat at her hse until 5 in the morning then i went home.... slp until 1 then wake up to meet crystal n headed to town wit her.... it was so fun chit chatting wit her... we laugh n laugh.... then we also took a lot of pic... then we headed home after she finish taking the pic... reach home ard 9 plus.... pic shld upload when i got from her... sorry alexa tt i cant meet u todae for movie... i meet u another dae n candy also.... sry yest nite cant accompany u... meet up wit u gals soon... i got lots of ppl to meet but i havent meet finish... i havent start doing my report n project... haiz... i also wan my sleep...i havent slp enough for last week n this week... onli slp 3 to 5 hrs per dae onli... gg to my lala land le...

like candy sae there is a lose n a gain in everythings.... been through too much le.... last nite nvr slp coz saw the shocking news.... like this will collapse sooner or ltr... had a chat wit candy.... she is rite.... i noe tt i had move on... cannot hang on le... it is time to move on.... i realise a lot of things.... n wat the word love means to u.... different ppl have different perpection... does anyone realli noe the realli meaning of it... i doubt... still finding.... but anyway.... i had found out who is tt special person in my life le... we have miss a lot of chances.... i wont miss the chance again.... he is there for mi no matter wat happen... he is there supporting n care a lot for mi until now... so quietly wit out sae.... my real guardian angel.... sry so late then realise... thx a lot to u... i will not name u out... it is gg to be a secret.... thx chalton for being there for mi always n the gals n guys u noe i cant name it out all... i realise i gain a lot... i nvr realise tt my classmate care so much for mi until recently... thx to them a lot for cheering up my life... i realli love them lots... i realise i have wonderful classmate ard.... although they dun sae it out but they prove it out....

so tired....

these few daes were pretty bz... i guess throughout the holi i will be bz ba.... work is bz for mi this mth... then sch stuff i havent started doing yet... so i guess my holi will be bz wit these n out wit friends... recently have been meeting tracey n lai often... last nite juz meet tracey n chatted wit her for a while... thx babe.... we r simliar in some ways... n ya i meet up wit darling fiona on sun... so great to see her.... miss her lots.... shall meet up wit my friends during the holi to do some catch up... yest chiong my work until morning 2 plus then slp... then wake up at 10 plus... then chiong finish my data first.... then now left wit christmas cards... i am so tired.... todae back to office to work... at least manage to finish the office one.. left wit christmas cards n birthdae cards n my receipts... on my way home nearly faint todae.... suddenly very giddy... low blood pressure i guess ba... recently not feeling very well... dun noe wat happen to my health also.... seems to be deteriorating ba... seriously facing health problems again... my health is getting worse each dae.... but i nvr realli care..... n i hate to go for check up coz i am afraid to noe the results.... tt y till now nvr go.... i have seen through a lot of things.... juz let it be natural... juz now was sms wit chalton n we talk abt relationship stuff.... told him tt if relationship can be sae in words it wont be so complicated le... i noe he havent got over his ex... i also dun noe how to help him either... this one is onli he can help himself.... as for mi i am also the same... i havent let go totally..... but i have move on... although occassionally i will think of him... but i will tell myself tt is in the past le... i shall move on... the wonderful memories he give is enough already.... it will be kept deep inside my heart.... i will change the habit tt i used to have wit him.... slowly changing... slowly to be independent... ya... meeting christina for dinner wit her next fri nite... she jio mi one... haha... got a few pa n ca going but i dun noe who... the christina is from my current company one... she is a very nice n sweet n cheerful gal...

BRAND NEW MI

from now on.... i will start a brand new life.... after i have seen n been through so much.... i noe who is true n good to mi.... n i will not hang on anymore.... i will move on wit my life... from now onwards my life will be colourful.... i will enjoy my life n live it to the fullest... a happi n cheerful mi will be back... smile will be back....

i am realli hurt by his way of things..... it pains so much.... my heart bleeds.... realli bleeds.... heart scattered n broken into pierces.... i dun noe how the future is gg to be.... now i cant sleep at nites coz of the nightmare i am having n i am gg to collapse soon wit the amt of medicine increasing... haha.... one dae i will juz heck care n dun eat anymore.... i have lost my hope n dreams totally.... i dun noe wat will last.... i wonder do relationship realli last..... maybe for mi it doesnt exist... or i dont deserve happiness at last.... i realise happiness dont belong to mi.... onli darkness belong to mi....



i realli miss him a lot.... realli lot.... i still love him a lot but i will wait for him quietly..... be his guardian angel... stay by his side quietly.... the rest i will let fate decide.... but from now i will control myself n move on wit my life...



i dun understand y we always end up hurting each other.... maybe we r not mature enough ba... we will end up let each other bleeds n pains a lot... disappoint each other then we will give up.... we r like mirror... too much reflection.... hope tt he will be happi n lead a better life....

yest pic for my birthdae wit my ex colleagues they all..... thx u guys.... sry tt i couldnt be happi.... thx for ur understanding.....




mi trying to smile wit my cake
meifang irene mi n sharon

meifang hubby meifag irene mi sharon n sunny

tired.... realli tired.... went to see doctor juz now.... doc sae tt if still cannot recover muz go for blood test n check up.... haiz.... i hate medicine..... got a lot to eat.... my body is not functioning well ba.... health getting worse n weaker each dae... have the feeling my time is gg to be up soon le ba.... dun noe leave to god ba.... onli god noe how long will i leave.... if my condition is not getting better i will give up le ba... i will juz leave it to be like this..... let it be weaker n weaker each dae.... realli tired le....





i realli miss u a lot..... but i had to tell myself to give up... forcing myself... i hate the feeling... dun dare to sleep coz of nightmare.... haiz...

thx ppl for ur birthdae wishes.... yest my classmates celebrate wit mi in sch wit another of mine... happen to be on the same dae.... both of us were so touched.... feel like crying.... then after tt went to meet ade kat n crystal to celebrate.... we went to eat new york new york n it turns out to be funny..... then meet candy for a drink... we went to her ex workplace there to drink.... then we finish a bottle of red wine wit alcohol of 17%.... she end up drink 2/3 of the wine.... then her ex asistant manager treat mi a hard liqur wit acohol of 30 plus %... specially for mi as it is my birthdae... we nvr drink so much for such a long time le.... then end up getting drunk... after i drunk i started to go funny things... then back home n knock off.... i hate the effect after drinking.... my skin will start to itch a lot.... which i realli hate a lot n stomach started not to feel well.... then now gg to celebrate wit meifang they all.... thx you guys for ur birthdae wishes....
in sch got my mentor marie janice eddy dee pearlene darren justin joseph hui qi xue yu wenqi xiao qing zul hoi fai ken jj anthony zhi hua
then sms got kat jia hao zul meifang henry candy alexa yi fang xiu hui
friendster got anthony crystal dee marie shirley anu jolyn kai li pearlene christina lai n christina from my workplace one...

HAPPY BIRTHDAE TO MI

todae is my birthdae..... i wish mi happi birthdae..... thanks to chalton to be the first one to wish mi happi birthdae.... this is a secret between us... haha... i am so touched n happi..... n he keep on wishing mi.... thanks to him... brighten mi up.... then kat is the first one to sms mi.... then on friendster got anthony marie dee crystal..... the rest shall update....

everything ended

everything ended peacefully.... tt is all i can sae.... thx u guys for ur concern.... i am ok... will be recovering soon.....

i juz realise tt my tears seems to be like running tap... it wont stop flowing.... last nite i cry until i fall asleep then woke up in the nite n cry again..... keep on crying the whole nite.... this morning woke up tears started to flow again.... last nite vomit out again..... this morning also.... stomach not feeling well.... i noe the ans already.... i will respect the decision.... like i sae in the first place... i hate myself.... realli hate..... emotions cant stop.... juz have tears keep on coming down.....

哭

哭的定义是什么？
哭了又如何？就可以改变些什么吗？
哭了以后可以让某个人为你而变吗?
哭了以后可以让坏事变好事吗？
哭了以后可以让痛变得不痛吗？
哭了就能让一切变得不一样了吗?
为什么要哭呢？
哭也不过是如此而已。。
哭也不能补救些什么，反而很累。。
不哭了。。尽可能地不哭了。。
saw this post from one of friend friend blog.... it is so true...... this is how i am feeling now... so helpless..... same as this person.... true n facts tt cannot be change.... once done cannot be change....

i dun noe wat happen to mi.... i seems to screw up things again.... i realli dun noe wat to do... feeling very bad now.... blame myself y like this.... y... my life will nvr be smooth y... maybe i shld juz admit it is my life n accept it ba..... recently alot of ppl seems not to be doing things well.... haizzzzzzzzzzz............... y like this... dun noe... feel like drinking recently.... but muz control.... hope tt things will turn well for mi ba.... todae went to my aunt hse for a while then reach home my dad treat mi dinner for my birthdae.... thx dad... but i juz cant smile..... my birthdae wish is to be wit him forever n hope tt he have a smooth sailing path ahead of him n wish tt he is happi always n he dun overwork himself n get enough rest.... hope it will be fulfil... realli hope.... last nite was talking to candy abt life.... i was like sae life is unpredictable.... u will nvr noe when is ur turn...... when ur turn come cant run away..... when it is not ur turn how u wan it u also could not get.... it is very true.... as candy sae she dun wan to work until die n no one wan it also.... then she sae things need solution but we onli see a temporally one we never realli see the permant one.... is coz we dun wan to face it.... tt y we dun wan the permant one as we noe the ans as it hurts..... i guess ba... candy sae her the other side might come out n no one will wan to see it... i sae it is fine wit mi.... she was like so shock..... been through so much so learn to see n accept it le... in life there is a lot of things u wont wan to see but it will not be bad if it is seen.... things dun look at the bad point of view... muz look from different angles.... juz do things in life tt dun make mi regret... but i realli regret to make things turn up like this.... i hate myself.... sae dun be like this n end up in the situation i dun wan.... i feel tt my life seems to get shorter n shorter when my health getting weaker n weaker...... dun noe la... dun wan to see doctor.... hate to see doctor.... tt all ba... the post seems to get longer le....

running nose got slightly better.... yest plan to work but in the end coz down wit flu.... todae plan to do tele but giddy.... i have been feeling giddy for almost 3 weeks le..... like once everydae.... i dun noe wat happen that cause my giddyness.... then stomach not feeling well either.... juz now went to ade hse to ask her for help in my drawing.... omg.... gg to faint.... muz draw 3d view.... muz hand up next week.... next week got test..... things r not gg well for mi these few daes keep falling sick... lol... another things is my mum sis is asking when can see him... n my mum keep asking y he nvr come nowadaes..... i dun noe how to ans them.... realli dun noe so i juz sae he is bz....

i am sick

i am down wit a flu again.... during the change of weather i will always have this problem.... especially during cold weather coz i have sensitive nose...... soon it will be fever n heavy flu which i dun wan.... now is exam period n gg to have my common test soon.... cannot fall sick... if not will be very bad.... i hate to fall sick during this period.... realli hate it.... shall stop here....

明明很爱他可是自己却一直伤害他..... 我不是故意的.... 不知道我为什么会这样..... 我真的很恨我自己... 好恨..... 我真的很痛很痛.... 我是真的痛了.... 我也哭了..... 我不知道应该怎么办.... 真的不知道.....

my leg realli hurt now... it is realli painful when i walk.... old injury is like this.... gg to see chinese doc tml.... a lot of things happen todae.... i screw up my work.... haiz...

i am so tiredddddddddd... todae work whole dae le.... todae i went to a wulu place tt i need to walk from one street to reach a bus stop n it is very long ard a 30 min walk so i took a cab instead.... the funny thing is the cab driver drop mi at the destination tt i went... the moment i step out onto the grass i fell down into the hole... hai... my dear is so bz... haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... i dun like the feeling now i realli hate it.... i hate myself now coz i am letting my emotions to run over.... my mind seems to go wild tt y i choose to work n not let myself anyhow think.... then my aunts todae call to find my mum n my mum happen not in so they chat a bit wit mi instead n they ask abt my dear... seems tt they r interested to see him... then one of my aunts noe i teach tuition so she sae since i teaching tuition treat her go drink coffee then i sae ok sure... next time i go i treat u... she very cute she told mi buy wat coffee for her le... then fews daes ago my mum ask y nvr heard mi sae meeting him n y he nvr come our hse... she thought wat happen to us so i told her my dear is very bz wit his stuff... she was like oh...





then my darling fiona is too stress up by her stuff until she feel down... i miss her lots... realli lots...



tml is one of my family members who pass away 3 yrs.... actually i realli dun noe how we r related.... i guess is by grandparents related ba.... time realli pass fast... another 7 more mths will be my grandfather...




now i am feeling so confused n lost n helpless... i dun wan to anyhow think le... if not my mind will be full of nonsence again... tt y i realli hate myself now.... so i choose to occupy my mind wit lots of stuff to do... shall stop here... i need to continue to do my stuff....